GOUD/ 39, 174/grad 2.5LPa/work bank/clean/seek simple descent fairgirl
If you perceived this as a command in a computer language you don’t know, you certainly do not read matrimony classifieds in Indian newspapers. I just picked up these words from The Hindu Newspaper.
Yes, classifieds are the primary gateway to matrimony for most of us. If you do not understand its language, you probably will remain single for life. Here is what I learned so far:
The grammar of the matrimonial ad is as simple as it looks. It is just words grouped together. The beginning part of the sentence describes yourself and the latter part describes the person you are looking for. If you do not know this rule, you will invariably get confused and WILL refer to the category often to decipher whether the ad is by a guy looking for girl or girl looking for a guy.It’s a continuum. Looking for the keywords like 'seeks', ' want', ' looking for' etc. usually helps to identify the cutoff point between “I am “ and “you are” , parts of the sentence. This, however, is not mandatory. Just remember that ad language sentences are a continuum of ME >YOU . If the person is narcissistic, the distribution of words in the sentence will have a negative skew and 'you-centric' person's ads will have a positive skew. Understanding where I end and you begin is more of a matter of practice.
Forward Slashes (‘/’) are often used to denote self-contained units, pretty much like paragraphs of other languages. Commas (‘,’) are used to separate words that give complete sense . Spaces are used to separate words. In the example above /39,174/ is the advertiser’s self-description, slashes used to denote units and comma is used to separate his age and height. However none of these are mandatory. The last word in the ad ‘fairgirl’ may remind you of surnames like Fairbrother, but it is just that since the space is not mandatory the user chose to skip it here between two words.
Most Common Words
More often than not, matrimonial classified language use sentence words. Some of the words have the same meaning as in English, some others have different meanings and remaining ones have no meanings. Here are the most important and frequent words used in the language:
Fair: Teachers may associate it with performance, lawyers with legitimacy, auditors with opinions, traders with their deals and others with trustworthiness. However in this language fair has only one meaning- the archaic meaning of the word in English – flaxen complexion .
Less popularly, the word this is also spelt as ‘fare’. You may also see ads that describe the girl as ‘fairy’ . She is not mythical, it is just that her parents do not know the word is also an adjective.
Homely: No, she isn’t ugly. This comely lady is either not qualified to work or is ready to sit at home and take care of you and your parents.
Adjustable: Since I usually see this word in garment and furniture labels, it jolted me out of my seat when I saw this first. I took a snapshot of the ad and sent it to an expert of the language to ensure that the guy is not looking for a sex doll or robotic girlfriend. Worry not, it just means that the lady should have the flexibility to get acclimatized to the guy’s home immediately on her arrival.
Lpa: Stands for Lakhs per annum, the unit of measure of his earnings. Not to be confused with lasting power of attorney.
God-fearing: No, this has nothing to do with her religiousness . The God here is the guy and she should be obedient . Now you know it is not a mystery that this term is never used to describe a guy.
Clean: This has got nothing to do with hygiene. The guy doesn’t drink or smoke.
Whitish: She neither milky nor off-white, it’s just that she is not that fair (see meaning of 'fair' above) but to call der dusky would be certainly unfair.
Qualified: No, it is not whether you are qualified for the role of a life partner. It means you should have at least a university degree.
Tall, Handsome, Beautiful, Pleasing, Reliable, Reputed, Elite … all these words mean the same – Nothing . Subjective descriptions are added to give a general feel- good to the ad.
Mystery words: In all probability these are either denoting a caste or an astrological term. If you come up with something that is double dutch please refer to the wiki page of castes ( it seems that we have at least a dozen million castes and clans in India ). If unsuccessful, browse the glossary of astrological terms in the 30 major languages and 122 minor languages of India. Sometimes identifying caste first can definitely help, people of some castes speak specific languages.
By now, you should have a novice level proficiency . Try the following ads I copied from today’s newspaper . Some parts are masked to protect privacy of the people involved.
- xxxxBRAHMIN Vadama/ Chithirai 44/183/ XXXX /15L/pa prefer well educated, fair, adjustable bride. Sub-sect/ Caste no bar. Hindi knowing. Ph: XXXXX
- PATRIOTIC XXXX GIRL MA English, 23/170CM Elegant, Slim, Smart, Whitish, homely. Seeks teetotaler, Broad minded , English Fluency, athletic Officer/ IPS groom XXXXX